I’m Coffeeing Alone!

introvert coffee

I arrived at the coffee shop at my regular time, got my usual and sat at my usual table…in the corner…..away from everyone….facing the wall.  And there I sat, with my book, notebook, and coffee ready for a wonderful afternoon.  What a glorious afternoon it was going to be with the rain coming down in sheets and the comfortable surroundings…

And then….HE showed up.  Dripping wet, shaking his wet raincoat all over the place like a dog, and dribbling water everywhere!  Then he decided to sit next to ME!  I admit it, I could have gotten up to move, and probably should have moved.  After getting his coffee, HE returned to his dripping table and decided that my posture and my not looking or talking to anyone was his cue that I was up for a conversation!  And so it began…

HIM: “Rainin’ pretty hard, eh pal?”  I kept reading.

HIM: “You sure got here just in the nick of time.  I got soaked to the bone.”  I kept reading.

HIM: “Whatcha readin’ there sport?” He reached over and touched my book.

ME: “I hope you won’t take this the wrong way, but I was enjoying the peace and quiet and my book.  So if you please…”

HIM: “Don’t have to tell ME twice.  I know I’m a talker, I’m in sales by the way, I can talk to anyone about anything.”

ME: “I understand.  Might you also possess the skill of NOT talking?” Go back to my book.

HIM: “Well….aren’t YOU just the quiet one.  All I want to do is pass the time in conversation.  What’s WRONG with you?”

At this point, I had reached the end of my tolerance of his intolerance.  I looked him square in the eye and said, “Look!  Out of ALL the people in this cafe I was sitting here BY MYSELF enjoying the peace and quiet and my book.  YOU somehow determined that I required your company and conversation even though I do NOT recall giving off that indication.  YOU are the one who disturbed me.  I did not disturb you.  Yet you seem to think, because I enjoy the quiet, that there is something wrong with ME? How dare you!  Why could you not have taken the hint and LEFT ME ALONE?”

HIM: “Sheesh! I’ll go away.”

I don’t understand why people like this miss the cues that introverts enjoy the quiet, and enjoy being alone in a comfortable place, and enjoy coffee and a book.  I don’t understand why some people simply cannot understand that there ARE those of us who do not have the need or desire to talk incessantly to anyone and everyone.  Would someone please help me understand?

 

Happiness

Happiness

I spend a lot of time in deep thought.  There’s just something about sitting quietly and thinking that is so very soothing.  This is why having a coffee and a good book are such a treat, you sip coffee whilst you ponder what you just read.  Also, my mind is active enough that whilst I am reading, the character voices in my head keep the book interesting.

Every so often, it’s a special treat to go for a stroll along a quiet trail and path.  I have never been able to figure out why some people simply seem incapable of quiet.  It’s as if they are terrified of the quiet and, thus, miss out on some extremely wonderful sights along the trails.  Most of the time, I walk alone. Being an introvert makes that a necessity simply because I want to be alone with my thoughts instead of being constantly interrupted with queries.

I would love to open an Introverts Only cafe whereby everything is ordered via touchscreen at the table and is delivered by a quiet person who will not interrupt or insert themselves into your conversation or thought process.  All the food/beverage prep will take place in another building so the noise would be kept to a minimum.  I would call it “The IP Address” where IP stands for Introverts’ Paradise.  Just a thought bonging around my grey goop.

I must away for now.

Quiet Place, Quiet Mind

Introvert Tiny House

I will not attempt to speak for anyone else, but I have my ideal quiet place where my mind can slowly return to a state of quiet and tranquility without the loud, abrupt interruptions to my thoughts that careless extroverts tend to find amusing to bombard my sanctum.  Solitude is not a means of being anti-social, it is a means of protecting oneself from the unnecessary disruptions to my thinking, contemplating and pondering.

My cottage, which has yet to be built, will be tiny (less than 1000 sq ft.) quite cozy and comfy.  There will be a writing desk in front of the window to record my thoughts and daydreams and questions.  There will be room for my therapy dog.  There will be a wonderful selection of coffees as well.  The location will be in a quiet area with NO Neighbors!  The road to arrive will not be difficult, as I need to be able to get groceries without a lot of hassle.  However, access to the plot of land will be restricted!

There will be books too.  Lots and lots of books!  Which I can read whilst enjoying a coffee on my screened in porch overlooking the water.  Yes, I realize this would most likely require that I win the lottery several times, but I do enjoy the daydream.

Inside PTSI

Ever wonder what it feels like to have PTSI? Hang on to your idea on truth! Imagine, if you are able, having every nightmare come to mind at the same time. Then add tonight the screams and moans of those you may have killed or injured or have seen killed or injured, added to those voices. Then add to it the knowledge that you have caused these images both real and witnessed to the voices accusing you of their pain and struggle!

Then meds help suppress these screams and accusatory voices. Now imagine being denied these medications so the screams, faces and accusatory voices are no longer suppressed. How would you fair?

I have been denied the meds that I am supposed to take 3 times a day to mute the symptoms of PTSI. I would be lying if I stated that the screeching voices and the faces I cannot forget have commenting using forefront of my mind and I cannot stop them. I feel as if I am being torn apart and my mind is being shredded. Yet, I have to deal with people who believe this is NOT a real event.

Please pray for my sanity as my meds are denied for the next 30 days. Would that I could withdraw into the darkness until I could receive my meds again.

Peaceful

Peaceful

Being an introvert has many challenges, especially in a loud extroverted world.  Finding time and space for peaceful reflection and recharging is one of the foundational challenges.  Once an introvert finds such a place, we protect it and keep it secret and sometimes put locks on it.

I might be a bit on the odd side of introvertism because I have several such places where I can retreat to escape peopling and socializing.  Each place is quiet, cool, comfortable, restful, and not far from each other.

However, I have a difficult time trying to understand why people cannot seem to let introverts have their quiet time.  Why is it so detrimental to society for an introvert to withdraw for a bit to regroup?  Will the extrovert’s head explode from the absence of the introvert?  Will the economy crash simply because I need a bit of space to think?  Can someone….anyone….explain why extroverts cannot seem to be able to allow the introvert to have some quiet space? My mind would like to know so I can ponder.

 

Introvert on

I must confess, I’m not a fan of most people.  Why, you ask? Quite simply, most people are very loud and intrusive.  I have attempted to dine at some of my very favorite eateries only to be assailed by the noise of people constantly trying to talk over everyone else, cellphone conversations which should be a face-to-face conversation in some dimly lit hotel room, not to mention the children screeching and squealing like little piglets whilst their parents stare uncomprehendingly at their phones.

What has happened to the places one could go to dine and escape all this madness?  Have all the lovely quaint places disappeared?

I will say that my favorite coffeehouse remains a bastion for Introverts.  Cellphone conversations are only allowed outside.  There are books to read everywhere.  There are comfortable seating everywhere.  The coffee is fresh and abundant.  Children are NOT permitted to breech this inner sanctum.  The Treehouse, as it is called, is a membership establishment whereby ones membership may be immediately revoked simply for breaching the noise policy.

Granted, I accept the fact the Treehouse is not a place for everyone, and I beg the understanding of those who may, perhaps, be offended by the stringency of the rules.  Yet, Introverts need a place to go where they can be themselves just like everyone else.

Introverts….we’re real people too.

Opinions Are Worth….What Again?

Opinion

Opinions….everyone has them and we spread them around as if they are the gospel truth.  I have reached the point in life where I have to chuckle when I hear someone say to me “Well, in MY opinion…” because I know what will follow will most likely be the biggest pile of manure to be dropped.  Why are we so free to offer that which has not been requested?

I remember in school being so worried about the opinions of others.  Was I wearing the correct attire in the proper way? Is my hair coifed just right? Am I in the right classes? Did I just say something unsuitable? Can they see the pimples I tried to cover? Am I driving the “right” car? And on and on and on.  Endless opinions to live up to and guess what? I failed miserably at every turn and spent my days in school as a miserable outcast, looked down upon by those whose opinions I had tried so hard to accommodate.

The same scenario carries over into the workplace.  People have their opinions about everything.  If you have ever worked in a “Customer Service” area, you know how opinionated people can be about the company you work for, you personally, your heritage, the chance that your parents aren’t even of the human species, and that donkey you, apparently, rode to work today.  What about when your coworkers or supervisor begin showering you with their opinions?  Should you worry?  I speak not of the instructions given my the supervisor or the helpful assistance given by a coworker. Rather, the opinion on where you live, what you eat, how much you eat, what to wear or not wear, who to speak to, who to avoid, whose butt to kiss and whose to not.  While these opinions can be irritating, they are merely words and should be treated as such…just words.

You see, if we spend our time and energy in the hamster wheel of trying to live up to the opinions of others, we will be exhausted, emotionally drained, miserable and frustrated.  YOU are the one who has to choose whose opinion matters most to you!  I have my opinion about that, but will keep it to myself. 🙂