I Can Learn!

coffee-and-writing

I have been dealing with nightmares, flashbacks, and PTSD/PTSI for years now.  My current counselor advised that I write down the usual (date/time/weather/food/drink) but also include such things as what I was watching on television, music I listened to, what I was reading, was I stressed (always), was I anxious (always), how was I feeling, any other information I could remember.

I have faithfully done this for 3 years now and began to notice a trend, the flashbacks can happen at anytime, that much I get.  They have happened while I was drinking coffee in a diner and they have happened sitting in a restaurant having dinner with a beer.  But the most interesting trend…the nightmares seem to happen after I have watched programs on the History Channel regarding warfare or programs like Band of Brothers.

However, the WORST ones occur when I am extremely stressed, anxious, and distressed. Which almost always happens to me when there is someone near me who is insistent on jabbering on and on to me even though I try to ignore them or politely let them know that I am not interested in chatting (being an introvert, I am NOT one who enjoys shallow chit chat).  I don’t understand people who simply feel compelled to talk constantly to people who have given every indication they don’t wish to be engaged in conversation.  Yet they just go on and on, oblivious to the all signals.

I actually told one such chatterbox, as politely as I could, that, while I am flattered she found me worthy of her attention, I wished to be able to sit quietly and enjoy my own personal space.  This person either did not hear me, ignored my statement, or felt she had the right to invade my personal space because she continued on and on.  I finally looked her dead in the eye and said, “May I ask you a question?”  She stopped talking, smiled and said, “Sure.”  At which point I got up and left.  Honestly, by that point I didn’t really care if I had offended her or not.

I understand that I am an introvert and that not everyone is such.  However, I cannot understand why others seem to believe that introverts should become targets of their aggressive personal space invasion and to be tormented by there nonstop chattering.

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